Why I Want Gastric Bypass Surgery: Random Thoughts from a Tired Mind:

What could I pibly be thinking? Why do I f the d to correct miscoptions inflicted upon peo cho to have Gastric Byp Sery (a.k.a. stom stapg). Yet, here I go. L a fat lamb to the slater I will try to make the world listen. Admittedly, I am weary of being judged. Thus, I will vly ask you to fot what you may have umed. For just a few mots, dare to see the world from my view.

Have you ever t about why the mere tion of Gastric Byp Sery cas superiority to ooze out from every p of 'fit' society? We have all seen it. A Diet Guru, a News Anchor or a Talk Show Host will , "Next we are going to meet Barbie Beauti t half her b size." Then they add, "wiut pills or sery." There is als a slightly judgtal tone in their voice. Th of us are jaded, scar-vy veterans of bulge batt inevitably r t as, "Next we are going to meet someone we know is better t you." Then they add, "If you can't do it their - wow do you ever bite!"

I can't help buy wonder, why don't we ever r things such as a Talk Show Host annou, "Next we are going to meet Paul Bunyan recently recovered from falg comtely thro a running wood chipper." No doubt they ld then add, "He led rly well wiut seeking antibiotics or medical attention. Ask yourself t. What ld you think? "Good job Paul!" Or, l me, ld you scream, "For the love of God man! Why ldn't you have sot medical help? You fell comtely thro a running wood chipper!" You see, sometimes not asking for help tiptoes along the border of stupidity.

What is it about obesity that reverses logic? What gs normally pectable peo some special license to judge, slander, insult and humili us? If I had a g kidney ld the guy in e behind me at the C-St , "Hey kidney g bitch hurry up and quit blocking the register?" Not wiut a liberal beat-down from the er customers. But call me a fat bitch and gigg are the societal norm.

L er per se b may be g them in some or aner, I am fighting back hard. Unfortunly, l m, I am loning the fight. There is NO easy out. It may be my mind, my chemistry, my genetics or a perfect storm of all these comx issues which has committed me to a lifetime of being at war with my own b. Just l a per se organs, br, bone-marrow and/or antibodies are g them, it is not for someone else to condemn casualty of Natu idiosyncrasies. So, bef reading my hodgepodge of ts further, ase remind yourself to check your precod notions at the door.

Now I am not ing that there a't peo are overweight beca they are ind lazy, eat junk, and/or generally l to rise to life's challenges. Excs for lure are abundant in t world. But to judge everyone by one measure when we are e so very diffet is wrong. Drsity is a gift, not a crime.

Some of us are fat will rise up and ovome the issue fver? Th l me will rolloaster thro decades - t decades. Still ers will never taste success. Laziness or seeking and easy fix does not apply to every fat per m t tal illness is to blame for every homes per. Issues causing obesity vary. Every one is diffet. Every 'b' is diffet.

Don't be so sure that all overweight peo brush their teeth with red meat and potato chips e ning bef couch surfing their day a. I for one spend a minimum of 5 nings a week at the gym. And yes, I know how to properly exise. A literal butt-load of calories go the of the dodo bef work. Beyond ood of cardio, I absolutely dig weightlifting. Seventy f pent of Americans do not work out, yet I am judged to be lazy. Hmm?

As for eng lthy foods, if stacked properly, the contents of my refrigerator ld look l a shrine to Dr. Oz. In my kitchen, raw foods, antioxidants and omega 3's flow l the butter and gravy inside a ctry farm se. Processed foods and most meats make my stom churn with disgust.

Al my diet improves with e ping year, my weight does not. My curt 30 lb rolloaster range rolls along l an "E Ticket Ride" gone mad. While I've t la chunks of weight in the past, l so m ers I have ged it back and m, so very much m. No appro beats the test of time. I have tried dozens of diffet diets and every physiological gimmick de jour. I've d, and frequently abd, most magical diet pills - prior to them being banned by the FDA.

The tal sts of a lifetime of lure is the icing on the nonexistent, uncraved cake of my life. These lu have no doubt weakened my olve. For ld fight a blo battle for land they als g back- two fold - the following year?

While 'they' now you can be fat and lthy, I suspect a fat per subsidized that study. I often notice how few bidly obese 70 plus year old skydrs I see running ard town. I for one love to l life to the t. Despite my srical musings and disgruntled pera, I am disgustingly happy and enjoy the little things, the big things and all things between. Just calg myself lthy while still dying yg - not my gig! Tks .

For me weight l is not a pursuit of vanity. That ship has sailed. It is a pursuit of life and all that life has to offer. I d years m years to savor it all. Be it m animal cue work, further books to bring later, frivolously chasing my secret dream of trekking to the Mt Gorillas or simply relaxing in a lawn chair wiut fear of furniture malfunction, I want it all. No apologies.

There you have it. Fear of dying too yg, the desire to do m good, occasional loneess and wanting to chase athletic/lthy endeavors sld be the ultim motivon for per to lo weight. Who could not take on the world with these inspirons? I see your point. It sds so obvious. Anyb sld be able to ovome thing when the threat of death is put on the table. But, that is my point. It is not yours to .

For whver rea I have not been able to ovome t problem - even under the threat of my impending death. In the face of these monutal inspirons I still l. I try. I fight, but I l. Perhaps life has carved me from a diffet piece of stone. Not every 'b', not every mind is the same. We are e carved out of unique life experies and a mixed-brew of genetics. Why ld someone judge me for ding medical help to save my own life, just beca they themselves drew a diffet card?

It's funny how we p judgt on select differes, yet embrace ers. Some of us run marans, ers sprint. Some love to ride horses, ers play bridge. Some can quit smoking, some l. Some can diet and win, ers . . . not so much.

I am stuck. L a skipping record my life repeats. I wake up e ning knowing that t is the day I will begin in earnest to cge my b and my physical life. My transformon is at d! I will fight! I will win! At night I lay down as a lure. During the rs bef a new dawn, I r my voice over and over. It s I will die yg. I will die soon. The life I love will end early. It is true. Peo will soon look down upon a rather la box conting my ashes and , "it is a shame that she never 'just' t the weight." There will be a slightly judgtal tone in their voices.

Perhaps the slow whs of mispeption ld begin to turn if peo are able to afford Gastric Byp Sery did not hide in shame. Why ld they? Brave souls must open weight l sery up for discussion and educ ers. For th with first d experie can als do m to te t book-smart per.

Nowadays woman flaunt their breast implant with salacious pride. Superficiality is their tiara. Commials for KY and Erectile Dysfunction products flood the airs. Yet celebrities and ordinary folk al hide having had a life saving operon. Why? It is just Weight L Dysfunction. And, just l a good boob job the ult can also be aesthetically asing. Nonethes, peo ding ista to l weight are publicly adjudicd, bombarded with scorn and force-fed shame. Society's real shame is t 'virtual-flogging' of soul has shown courage by admitting they d help.

If I do l long eno to have Weight L Sery, I plan on hiring a marching band to escort me thro town in a little black ds. In one d I'll carry a sign ing, "B Brot to You by Bypes R Us!" My free d will be ting out business cards for the seon has helped save my life. T spectacle will not ult from pride in my lu. It will rise out of a desire to show the world that there is no disgrace in using every tool in your arsenal to rise up and l. Fight for your life. There is no shame in doing so!

Yes, I am aware that some byp pents g back weight in time. I am batting 280% "g back" at the mot, so I'll get over the worry of; maybe, pibly, someday . . . I also know the odds of dying from sery. It is insignificant to living e day with a 95% certty that I will be die within the next few years. B issues combined are 100% better t knowing on my death bed that I have left my wiut mer and did not try every option available to stay ard and vex him interminably.

So what is stopping me from ieving weight l? After all we have established that I exise regularly, am a lth food junkie and have a freakin' sunny outlook on life. My problem is no mystery. It is portion control. How benign and simplistic that sds. Diet Gurus and TV Docs drop the term 'portion control' as if they reced royalties for its over. If only it were so easy.

M believe there are two to s to f. You are either hry or l. Unfortunly there are three was to f. There is hry, whver and l. "Whver" is that cruel no-man's-land between lness and her? Full I can beet ds down. When I am l, my focus is on life, work . . . Food becomes a non-issue. Her I can not beet. I am dizzy, weak, sick fing and powers. Sure I sld be able to endure t in excge for life, but for whver rea, tres, lightdedness and occasionally ping out cold . . . win. I apologize.

However, my real problem is that blasted Whver Zone. I d to f l to not eat. The weakness and powers nature of true her is to be avoided. In addition, I focus too much of my ts on food when I am just 'whver' and not l. Simply being 'not hry' is not eno. I can not why. I will not insult er by trying to expl further what I myself can not put into proper words. The fact rems, even with the abse of junk food cravings or even true her I have a weak spot. "Whver" is my Achil' Heal.

So, here I am. I d a fing of actual lness in order to not eat. Curtly t ults in eng oversized portions. T is why I sirely believe Gastric Byp ld be a tool in helping me with weight l. I'd f l after eng s, which ld complit my lthy food choices and exise regime. Why ld one think poorly of ers for ding such a sim last little bit of help?

If individuals could f for one day the anguish I internalize at having such a socially unacceptable lth problem, I am convid there ld be donon buckets for me next to every cash register in town. Just as folks do for a neighbor has car or ds a rt byp (also frequently cad by poor eng habits), the community ld rally. But even right now most of you f that is a ridiculous compari, beca judging fat peo is inn in American society and in that one I fear most everyb is not so diffet after all.

So, if you still must look down on all of us fabulous, but fldering, mixed-up peo ding weight l sery, I can no m to try and cge the in which you cho to view t weighty issue. Find me as you will. L t es my struggle and emotions are all over the board. But, never I am "taking the easy out". There is ning easy about the choice of seeking medical help. Years of struggle and p lure have drug me kicking and screaming to t place. It is true. For me weight l sery may lly be an unievable fantasy, but th rece t opportunity deserve your understanding, not your dist. Hire them a marching band.